New profession on the rise: Gangster

by Towheed Feroze

015In the past, the preferred profession for any teenager included, engineer, architect, doctor or government official but we now have, thanks to the countless movies glorifying hoodlums, a new entry: gangster.
Yes, do not recoil in horror! As soon as your son learns to understand that he must carve out a special place in the world for himself, try to present him with a gun license. Better still if you can get hold of an illegal weapon. That way, the encouragement to become an underworld killer becomes more reinforced.
Say, one fine morning, call your son for a serious man to man conversation and then with a solemn expression say: my boy, here’s a Gloch automatic, now go and become the Don of the crime world! By the way, while you go on extorting, blackmailing and following the orders of the Mafia boss, do not forget lessons of ethics/morality I taught you (which is no sex before marriage though provocative dancing with the actress is permitted).
Gangster Returns should have been named: Guns, navel and money!
What is the plot? Come on, as if you didn’t know: some victim of circumstance heads into the murky world of crime , finds that his beliefs are at odds with the credo, which is all vice and no virtue, and then some woman steps in to complicate things.
Actually I am a bit perplexed because the underworld gundas that I have known in real life could never speak Bengali properly, some even had such limited vocabulary that their entire stock of words and sentences included only these: bichi (bullet), machine (pistol), falae de (kill him), maal charen (give me the money), size koira de (give a good beating), kata (sawed off gun), shandae de (pierce someone with a sharp weapon) etc. Other could only communicate with grunts and incomprehensible words.
Here in the film, Apurba is articulate so women obviously fall for him. By the way, from the recent movie culture it appears that current day women prefer people living at the edge of the legal boundary.
Transgressors, mastaans and goons are their preferred choice.
I guess many marriageable women this winter are sharing their ultimate desire with their pampering mothers: Ammu, please, please I want a gangster as a husband.
Eager to fulfil the wishes of the daughter mothers will possibly begin looking for suitable guys who are in crime. A newspaper advert may soon appear:
Groom wanted for slim, fair girl with proper manners and academic background. Men who have been initiated into crime very early on are preferred; even better if he is an expert in all sorts of illegal activities like smuggling, drug trade, contract killing and extortion. Person applying must be tall with killer looks; academic qualification is no issue but capability to speak proper Bengali is essential along with a steady supply of sleeveless t-shirts which he will wear at all occasions.
Ability to deliver fiery lines (‘once a dormant volcano erupts, it engulfs all’ or maybe, ‘I am the person who appears in your nightmare’) is an added asset. His friends must be totally dissolute, spending time either killing or engaging in Bacchanalian orgy with women.
Right, this is a movie of brazen copying: the most signature one is a rip-off from Skyfall where Bond is standing on the roof staring at the distant under a forlorn sky. There is something similar only Dhaka is used instead of London. Why don’t we just think of something original? Yes, I know this question will reverberate around without any answers.
The item number is there as part of current day film format along with plenty of alcohol. I am curious to understand a contradiction: in real life, brothels are ransacked by so called moral crusaders of society on the grounds that such institutions scar exiting values, but in celluloid, item girls plus copious amount of alcohol are presented solely to titillate the audience and provide that wicked sensation.
Of course, this does not harm our culture in any way, right!
The movie is all about cliched motion, men with large guns rising from the water, fighting in wet clothes (hey, why not fight when the rain has subsided?), explosions galore, derelict warehouses – the common stuff.
And then there is the run with two guns in two hands – I am guessing now a days there is a special training for this idiotic action.
Oh well, since the objective is to lionize the life of a gangster, we must accept it! Society already has a revered place for real life Dons, movies like these will only reinforce the lure of such existence.
Since the ‘Bhai’ culture has found social acceptance, how about a school on how to become the perfect gangster! We provide six weeks crash coaching to turn innocent, harmless, soft spoken men into rude, angry, gun toting, gundas.
Additional free classes (taken by item girl Saaanita in choli and ghagra) on how to attract women…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *